I did it. For five years I waited for this day.

I created a painting event and invited a select group of friends to participate.

For me, it was like jumping in... head first... sputtering, flailing and swallowing water with every breath...

They accepted the invitation... they made it real. I couldn’t do it without them... nor they without me.

But. There was a but. What if I couldn’t do this thing that I set into motion? What if it was a complete flop... the humiliation... the fear of failure welled up... panic set in. And I had brought it on myself. The event was hours away and I couldn’t breathe.

I may have drowned, if it weren’t for the generous words of support and encouragement from a friend (you know who you are) that spurred me on and pushed me to the surface. Breaking through for that first gasping breath... filling my lungs...

What’s the worst that could happen when standing up in front of a group of people, right? If I mess up, stutter, fall down... they laugh and I die of embarrassment. The laughter might be heard for miles, but really... it’s just laughter... people having a good time.

The piece that I hadn’t considered was that the room was filled with people that may also be anxious about being vulnerable. Afraid of not being great artists... and exposing that to everyone... they too were holding their breath about the prospective out come... the promised masterpiece of their own doing... we were together on this journey.

I stood up, I painted - they painted... and they each dug deep and found their inner child... and they laughed... we laughed!

It was the most beautiful sound... the same laughter that I was afraid of was like music to my ears.

And when it was over, when I came up for air... I felt alive.

More alive than I have felt in years... the fear had been replaced with beautiful laughter.

I am filled with gratitude and the sheer joy of sharing in the laughter... as we took the plunge together.